Most of us have grasped the notion that life is a journey, which is why we refer to it as living.  However, what are we living for? What path are we on and what are we taking and/or letting go of as we travel from place to place in hopes of reaching a final destination of infinite prosperity? Although I am aware that I have many more miles to travel, my process has taught me how to acknowledge the most valuable assets our creator has provided to us. These assets allow the expedition to be somewhat smoother and more pleasurable while also presenting opportunities for growth and a chance to give back as we approach new crossroads.

Majority of us would agree that within our life-time, we seek things such as happiness, faith, love, wealth, career success, peace, health, a comfortable home, acceptance, respect, and the list goes on.  The interesting thing is that with all of these elements, there is one component that is consistent with each. Our individual journey throughout life would not maintain much meaning and purpose without cultivating relationships.

Whether it’s for a particular reason, season of time, or a life-long investment, people are the bridges, the signs, the lights, and sometimes even the tour guides along our adventure.  As we grow and mature into our own identities, and life continues to teach us how to obtain our full potential through a series of lessons, it is appropriate to say that the curriculum is generally written by our encounters with others.

Think of the most emotional moments in your life, whether a low point or high point. Would you agree that most of those feelings came from some experience with other people?  During my studies in Psychology; Mental Health, I was given an assignment in which I had to write my own 10 page autobiography focusing on the events that molded me into the person I am today.  What should have taken me one or two days to write, actually took about two weeks.  What happened?

To truly do introspection on myself, I was forced to address past situations and feelings that contributed to defining my overall personality and characteristics.  The problem was that I had no desire to experience those things again; not even in thought.

Other than my personal relationship with God, there was not one situation that didn’t directly involve another person.  Things that made me cry, smile, laugh, lonely, hopeful, sad, spiritual, wiser, and so forth were all an emotional catharsis that was stimulated from some level of connection with another human being.   Unfortunately society has taught us to suppress our emotions and consequently, whether consciously or unconsciously, we refrain from letting others know who we really are.

Sometimes our relationships with others and how we communication can be the very thing that’s holding us back from a destination of great prosperity.  Not letting go of certain things and people along your journey can prevent you from growing, getting there faster or receiving the next best thing that God has waiting for you at your next stop.  What if you are still carrying the same dirty laundry from your last trip? Why would you want to mix a fresh new outfit with clothing stained from your past?

We often take the same path over, and over again based on our inability to learn or maybe even teach within those relationships.  I have close friends in which we have been in each other’s lives for over 20 years and when I think of all the reasons for our successful friendships, it all boils down to our respect for individuality and regard for the emotional strengths or weakness of each.  Feelings matter.  Just because someone may not always understand how you feel does not give them the right to disrespect it or claim your character as weak.  One who is bold enough to explicate their emotional state or feelings is probably one who is vastly in tune with who they are and the standards they uphold.

I don’t say this because I think it is easy but I say this because I have observed that we have lost the most humanistic part of us that God has given so that we can connect, unite, and relate to one another.  We have lost the drive to find that middle place in which we can seek to agree and express our innermost feelings.  Of course, we are not going to like everything about everyone.  We often don’t even like everything about ourselves. However, we should still strive to love that good part, build upon that and nurture that which needs nurturing.  This goes for how we view ourselves and our connection with others.  Despite the fact that many of us have been deeply hurt by people and have a hard time trusting again, it is still unlikely to have a fulfilling life without genuine and synergistic interactions with others.

Just yesterday I wrote a letter to my father who has been deceased for over seventeen years now.  I had finished meditating and started writing a list of things I wanted to accomplish when suddenly I began to miss him.  I felt trapped, frustrated, and alone.  How do you communicate and express your feelings to someone who you’ll never see again, touch, or hear their voice?  What difference would it make anyway if I tried to tell him how I felt?  Well I tried regardless. Somewhat hesitate I began to write as tears immediately poured down my face.  I wrote venting my anger, sadness, and disappointment for him leaving even before his death.  I shared with him the moments of torment that I endured when missing him and the love that I still carry for him daily.  I told him how upset I was that he wouldn’t walk me down the aisle at my wedding and that I wanted him to meet his future grandchildren.  You get the point.  I said a lot of things that I’d felt for years but had never really expressed in any form until then.

To some people, this may sound weird because I obviously can’t mail it to him and expect something in return. Not physically anyway.  The miraculous thing is that as I concluded the letter, my spirit felt at peace and I was no longer angry.

There was not a single tear on my face, and I felt as if I was even closer to my dad than ever before.  I was encouraged and reminded of how amazing God truly was and still is. Even in the midst of emotional pain I was somehow comforted by the courage and process to express myself openly. Now, I was ready to move forward.

Expressing how we feel to others, being vocal about our needs, wants, and where we desire to go in life can alleviate emotional frustration and sometimes physical pain that resulted from holding on to things for far too long. Release so that you can pick up enhanced gifts, increased wisdom, and expanded self-worth for that new season and divine path you’re walking into.  Showing your true feelings doesn’t mean that you’re weak or that you’re taking a step back.  It just means that you are preparing to take flight and are becoming more and more comfortable with who you truly are.

By:  Shávon Reed-Agard        
©Echo-Luv Enterprises, LLC.
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